Choices….

A misguided step… to slip on the moss at a river crossing…. fighting the current… washing up on solid ground…downstream… on an unknown shore…. 

I’ve discovered that there are no “misguided” steps…  The slippery rock was strategically placed beneath the water’s surface to redirect us…  My grandfather’s return from Japan as a young man and moving his family… my father’s return from Vietnam and following my mom’s family…leaving Miami… …. Faranah’s family moving from Uganda… her taking a job in a city she’d never been….  Any variation from these and a million other decisions… some decisions of people I’ve never known… would have altered where I sit this morning… the very table and coffee cup…. my existence… my happiness… my children…. the child on the way… the pictures we hung on the wall last night….

At my age…. I have much on which to look back… I can see the criss-crossing trails… but no longer the trailhead… I know the paths I’ve walked… some without desirous ambition…. enthusiasm… Then, the stumbling forward and finding that cove… cool creek… beautiful vista… that I’ve passed countless times…  My understanding is the Children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years… and when they finally stumbled into the Promised Land… they had been no more than a day’s journey from it many, many times…  They were so close…

…. and I’ve been so close….  I’ve never…never…. been so happy… I would have overlooked the opportunity… I wouldn’t have known the possibilities existed….  I had no idea that there was so much more…  couldn’t have dreamed of this… I have truly found the place for which I was sculpted…. this solid ground… my sacred soil….

Choices… like a shadow… trail closely behind even on the brightest days… our constant companion… reminder… mimicking our every step… Yesterday, watching Baker swim… I noticed my shadow… sitting beside me… still… comfortable…. and in peace…. 

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