Archive for June, 2011

Fathers’ Day 2011….

Posted in Where Angels Perch with tags , on June 21, 2011 by rodzink

Front porch….early this morning… cool breeze…cup of coffee….  Could do no more than simply smile and reflect on this wonderful life… Funny how much changes as we grow… but how constant we are at the core… The things that make us who we are… the stuff that we cherish… at our very souls…   

I’ve heard it… often…. we focus our attention on the things that really make us happy…. the things that make up who we are….  the very faces of these kids…. this perfect companion…. the mere thought of my unborn son… and my heart races…  my thoughts roam… excitement soars… and my gratitude humbles… I’ve stumbled into my place.. following the unknown… watching the unseen…hearing the inaudible… the heart string… the gravity… the pilgrimage…. And there is no doubt… no hesitation…no resistance…..  I am Home….

More…..

Posted in Where Angels Perch on June 10, 2011 by rodzink

Once… and not that long ago…. I thought I was exhausted.. completely spent…  My every second was already dog-eared and focused relentlessly on these two kids….  I adore them…. I’ve given up so much… and lived my days for the time with them…

Yet, I’ve discovered the elasticity of the heart…. the bonus room overhead affording the added capacity of shared thought….attention… Turns out, I’m neither exhausted…nor spent….  I’m not even on reserves….  I have been given “more” because I have the ability… there is room… there is space… there is will…within this embrace….

Once, I thought I had enough… and felt stretched thin… but the lesson learned… is I wanted more….  This morning, my cup is full…. shaken down… flattened out… running over…  I am so blessed…. so fortunate….

Choices….

Posted in Where Angels Perch with tags , , on June 6, 2011 by rodzink

A misguided step… to slip on the moss at a river crossing…. fighting the current… washing up on solid ground…downstream… on an unknown shore…. 

I’ve discovered that there are no “misguided” steps…  The slippery rock was strategically placed beneath the water’s surface to redirect us…  My grandfather’s return from Japan as a young man and moving his family… my father’s return from Vietnam and following my mom’s family…leaving Miami… …. Faranah’s family moving from Uganda… her taking a job in a city she’d never been….  Any variation from these and a million other decisions… some decisions of people I’ve never known… would have altered where I sit this morning… the very table and coffee cup…. my existence… my happiness… my children…. the child on the way… the pictures we hung on the wall last night….

At my age…. I have much on which to look back… I can see the criss-crossing trails… but no longer the trailhead… I know the paths I’ve walked… some without desirous ambition…. enthusiasm… Then, the stumbling forward and finding that cove… cool creek… beautiful vista… that I’ve passed countless times…  My understanding is the Children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years… and when they finally stumbled into the Promised Land… they had been no more than a day’s journey from it many, many times…  They were so close…

…. and I’ve been so close….  I’ve never…never…. been so happy… I would have overlooked the opportunity… I wouldn’t have known the possibilities existed….  I had no idea that there was so much more…  couldn’t have dreamed of this… I have truly found the place for which I was sculpted…. this solid ground… my sacred soil….

Choices… like a shadow… trail closely behind even on the brightest days… our constant companion… reminder… mimicking our every step… Yesterday, watching Baker swim… I noticed my shadow… sitting beside me… still… comfortable…. and in peace….