Today…. today is no different than any other day… for me… but it’s a privilege… an honor… to have children. It’s also an honor to have a Father.
Last week, I watched Baker ride off towards camp… BSA troop 176… left for North Carolina… then, I waited… Waiting for my little boy to come home… I noticed that Belle began to miss him by week’s end.. Our days and nights were filled with work…riding the four-wheeler… movies…. I thought about the hundreds of thousands of Fathers who watched their sons leave for overseas assignments… Iraq, Afghanistan, Europe…. and what it must feel like to wait… not hear their voices… not know how things are going… but wait. Waiting with a date highlighted on the refrigerator calendar and look at that number each morning… until it arrives…
The week reinforced the fact that kids often need different things from us… the flexibility of a parent… to give in different ways… Belle just wanted to be near me… an evening four-wheeler ride through the woods… reading together… she worked with me this week…not a single complaint…
I’ve given it some thought…. I leave work in the evening, mentally evaluating the day… was it productive? profitable? a move forward? Or simply a day that has managed to slip away…. It’s the same for my time with the kids… Did I end this day well? Were my hands… and time… and attention focused accordingly? Can I close my eyes at night… revisit the day… each moment with them…. and smile? Was my love….my discipline… my all…. given? If not…. well….. balancing the world IS my job…..
The week was tough… a prelude to tomorrow…. One day… I’ll watch them both grow up… hear from them less… put miles between us… walk their own paths….
Baker…. Annabelle….. I’ll be on the porch (yours)…. my door will be open…. watching the distant bend in the road…. I will run to you when you call…. dream of you when you do not…. and cherish each moment that you give me now…. Happy Fathers’ Day…. to me.. I love you both with all that I am.